The learning curve

Now, I had lived away from home before, admittedly I use the word ‘lived’ very lightly. I moved twenty minutes up the road in Cardiff when I went to university. I took my washing home every weekend and let my Mum by my shopping in Tesco for me, but I did have to cook for myself, wash up and learn a few basic skills. The dizzy blonde receptionist had never been away from home.

We began a new fun game (again the word ‘fun’ here is used very lightly; no pun intended (see next line). It’s called ‘how many lights can dizzy blonde receptionist leave on. The aim of the game is that dizzy blonde receptionist leaves on as many lights as she can and I run around trying to turn them off. Try it at home, it will certainly keep you fit!

Our first week together saw a number of dizzy disasters:

Dizzy blonde receptionist attempts to clean the dishwasher…with fairy liquid. Yes, you guessed it, I walked in after a long day at the office to find suds all over the place and dizzy blonde receptionist standing there in her PJs with a child like ‘I’ve done something and you’re not going to like it’ look on her face.

Dizzy blonde receptionist attempts to hoover the shelves. That is not a typo, yes, she tried to hoover the shelves…another of her great ideas but not quite up there with putting fairy liquid in the dishwasher. She did not think this through and managed to hoover up her beads. A night of emptying the hoover and searching through the dust ensued.

Dizzy blonde receptionist goes to her Christmas party। This isn’t quite a disaster until you are in my position and have a drunken, hyper dizzy blonde receptionist jumping up and down on your bed at four o’clock in the morning! No, again, that is not a typo, it really was four o’clock and no, it wasn’t a weekend. This was a school night. A school night where I had to hear all about the night’s activity, she had found the ‘cool crew’ at her work and had decided she needed to get in with them, which considering on her first day she had told me everyone in the office was boring and she hated it, she had become one hell of a lot more enthusiastic about the place, but they may just be the effect of them giving her free drinks until four o’clock in the morning!

God help us survive the next six months!